A Choice

Many a time, we're faced with a choice...

A choice between doing what's good or what's right...
Sometimes, the decisions we make are not all just black and white.

A choice between having what's wanted and what's needed...
Because having everything in the world doesn't mean you've succeeded.

A choice between believing in God, or just playing it safe...
Inward transformation, outward dramatization or just faith?

A choice between expressing your feelings or being just friends...
When you cross that line, it's either the beginning or an end.

A choice between when to ignore and when to forget...
Some things are just not worth reliving the regret.

A choice between enjoying your job or building a career...
Do you want to drop your anchor or trust the wind and let go of the steer?

A choice between a peaceful solitude or an uncertain happiness...
Eating alone. What can be worse?

A choice between praying fervently for a breakthrough, or living as if it's already here...
Where's our faith if we don't believe that God heard us right the first time.

Many a time, we're faced with a choice...

Maybe it's time to listen.
Listen to the still small voice...

A Passion...

The Lord dropped a passion of Astronomy in my life, so I could see the beauty of creation, in the vastness of space.

A passion of Cooking; to feel the beauty of inspiration, especially when watching the bread rise.

A passion of Molecular Biology; to be awed by the beauty of nature, even in single-celled organisms.

A passion of Physics; to experience the excitement of experimenting, even when the Law of Gravity told us we couldn't fly.

A passion of Computer Science; to appreciate the beauty of simplicity, in the complexity of programming code.

A passion of Fertility Science; to experience the miracle of life, when nothing else seems to work.

And a passion of Christ; to see the glory in a Man who gave up all, so others may live...

Sometimes I wonder...
I wonder what the Lord has in store for me.

Sometimes I wait...
I wait for the Lord to show me the way.

Sometimes I worry...
I worry if I have the strength to carry on.

Sometimes I hope...
I hope that He'll come and take my problems away.

Sometimes I fear...
I fear that I may make the wrong choices.

Sometimes I realise...
I realise that God can turn the wrong choices into something good.

Sometimes I laugh...
I laugh at the moments when I almost fell.

And sometimes I smile...
I smile when the Lord reminds me of all the times He has picked me up.

All the while I notice...
That things may not go as well as it seems, but

Every time, You're always there for me.


Thank You, Jesus...

Why Computers Sometimes Crash!
by Dr. Seuss.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report...

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall..

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang...

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions cause unwanted risk,
then you'll have to flash the BIOS and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
just quickly turn the darn thing off and run to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives!

You gave me a job when I wasn't looking.
An open door when there wasn't any...

I was willing to settle for anything, even less.
But You gave me a chance to work with the best.

I know it was You because I had nothing to give,
But they took me on anyway...

All I did was seek You and pray,
And a job I now have today.

Thank You for blessing me with these wonderful people,
What You did was nothing short of a miracle...

It's such joy to work with you guys, my second family.
Bless them Lord for they have been such a blessing to me...


No... We're not like this most of the time. We're like this ALL of the time... I think it must be something in the coffee...


Miffy, Sam & Brooke - Our front desk Medical Secretaries - Our first line of defence. Trust me, you don't want to make them angry, so pay your bills on time ^_^


Nurse Co-ordinators Denise & Joan (with Brooke) - The brains behind the scenes. With over 50 years of working experience between them, they don't look a tad beyond 35 you reckon? *score brownie points*


Nurse Co-ordinator Eileen & Sonographer Chelsea - Our ultrasound specialists, where they boldly see where no man has seen before...


Bio-Chemist Allison (with daughter Miffy) - My teacher, the one who taught me everything else the university failed to teach. From running the complex chemi-luminescence machine to what girls really want... What will I do without you???


Embryologists Tara & Sue - What you girls do in the lab is nothing short of a miracle. Really enjoyed working with you Tara, even though you were with us only for a short while.


Yours truly, (with Eileen's son James) - Bio-Chemist and the only representative of the male species at work... "James, hurry up! Finish your university and come help me!"


Greetings from all the ladies and the "boy"... ^_^

For all you electric guitar lovers out there...


Check this guy out... He's playing Canon by Pachelbel. Crank up the volume around the middle. Its quite a large file so be patient, but its worth every single bit *no pun intended* ^_^

Thanks to Qiong for sharing this with the world!

Only one word can describe this performance... AWWWESOME! ^_^

What began as a fine cool morning would quickly turn to one of the most horrifying days of my life.

How quickly a moment can turn into despair...
How fast life can spin out of control, catching you unaware.
What happened on Sunday I could never again bear.
Life is so fragile, so please please take care...


Sunday - 19 February 2006 - 6:15am
Woke up with a stuffed nose. Had left the window open. Found myself tightly wrapped in my blanket like a tortilla. My left nostril conveniently sticking out of the cosy protection of my down feather quilt. Left it to face the harsh cruel world of the freezing morning air by itself. Thought twice about going to work.

6:40am
Cursed the guy who invented the snooze button. Had to leave in 20 minutes. Those close to me would know that I take much longer than that to get ready. Marry me and you'll find out why ^_^

7:10am
Kissed the guy in the mirror goodbye. Did a quick calculation in my head. Work was 30kms away. Car goes at 100km/h. Will take 18 mins to get there. 2 mins to get up the lift with time to spare to adjust my hair. Man, even that rhymes... ^_^

7:15am
Everything's on schedule. Traffic's quite light. Anyone driving at this time either works in a lab at Joondalup or seriously needs a life ^_^

7:18am
Why is everyone slowing down? If you're going to drive on the first lane at less than 100km/h at the freeway... You really need a... *what on earth?* 0_0

7:18am + 1s
Saw a car swerve widely onto the dirt towards the median rails. What happened in the next 3 secs will change that driver's life, and mine forever...

7:18am +2s
Driver overcorrected and the car swerved back onto the road at a right angle. The car has now lost traction and is sliding across the 3 lanes. (2 seconds...)

7:18am +3s
Now the car is sliding uncontrollably towards a concrete support pillar of a flyover bridge. Stop the car... stop it now!!! My heart yells. (1 second...)

7:18am +4s
Car impacts the concrete wall with so much energy that it continues flying down the road 4-5m, only to ram straight onto a streetlight, completely severing it from its base. Try hitting the steel frame of a streetlight when you walk pass one, and imagine how much force it would take to break it in two.

Car finally rolls to a stop... 0 seconds.

7:18am +5s...
All the cars around me immediately pulled up by the side of the road. We must have stared at the crash for like another 3 seconds, trying to comprehend what just happened.

Did a car just skid off the road? Will the driver just walk out and sweep the dirt of his jacket? It was only until we saw the sight of a man running straight towards an overturned car that woke us up from our period of denial.

Ever noticed in the movies that time always seems to slow down during a dramatic event? (all thanks to the director's wilful editing) It happens in real life too. Everything went silent as well. It's like the mind shuts off the other senses when it tries to make out an image of a crushed up car with a person in it.

As I approached the car, I could see a bloodied arm from the driver's side window. I've always wanted to see the bottom of a car, but not like this. My initial concern was whether the car was gona blow up. That subsided when a man who seemed to know what he was doing checked to see if the car engine was still running.

The man who first ran towards the car was now halfway in it. Could see that he was trying his best to keep her conscious. Yes, we now all found out that the driver is a girl. There wasn't any space for another to help. The car was so crushed on the driver's side that I couldn't even imagine how anyone could survive.

One of the guys now went to direct traffic around the car, while some of the others and I went to clear as much debris from the road as we could. The last thing we wanted was glass being sprayed all over us by a passing car.

Prayed in the Spirit the whole while. I knew I wasn't trained in first aid and there was nothing I could do but pray. Thank God for the gift of tongues because I couldn't imagine myself praying properly in English after seeing a car which now resembled a crushed aluminium can.

7:21am
Nurses arrived. Was amazed how fast they responded especially on a Sunday morning. Could have been off-duty nurses. Nevertheless, praise the Lord for placing them there at the right place and the right time.

7:24am
To what seemed like forever, the police, ambulance and fire brigade arrives. Our part was done and it was time to let the professionals do their job.

One of the officers approached me to take my statement down. It was this moment when I started to recall that fateful 3 seconds, that my heart grieved silently under that detached facade. Prayed for a couple more moments before committing her to the Lord and driving off to work.

I wondered if there was anything else I could have done? Let's just say for the rest of the drive to work, I was bombarded by the evil one with thoughts of not doing enough or not responding fast enough. My heart was burdened with guilt and confusion. I wondered why I had to be there at that place at that time. I wondered if I left my house earlier, I might have been driving next to her, or might have not seen it at all. But why then and there?

It was at that time that the Lord told me that I was there for a reason. So were the others. Everyone knew they had a part to play. From the brave soul who went straight into the car without checking if the car was on fire, to the rest of us who were picking up debris, and to that one man who walked 20 metres down the road to direct traffic by himself. As for myself, I just prayed.

Our wise Lord then answered my question with a question. "What if the reason I had you there at that time and at that place because I knew you would pray for her?" My heart filled with joy and peace again. The Lord had anointed each and one of us to perform a special role.

Some of us would like to think that praying at that moment would be considered a passive act and something one would do as a last resort, but the Lord explained to me that a prayer was equally as effective, if not more effective, in helping that driver than what the others did. Without prayers, the girl's life was in the hands of mortal men and man-made equipment. But with the Lord's help, He can guide the firemen to break open the wreckage easily and bring her out safely without causing further damage to her body... He can protect her in ways we'll never know. Hey, He can even raise the dead! ^_^


Life can be so unpredictable,
You never know what turn it'll take...
All of the things that happen to us,
Caused by the very decisions we make...

If you do not yet know our God, our Father,
All alone in this world you'll be...
Come under His wings of protection,
His love so great you shall see...

He is our Saviour, our Shepherd.
Let Him embrace you now, for your sake...
Our lives are too short, too precious,
To leave to this world to break...

Let the Holy Spirit fill you now,
With love, peace and joy...
Let the finished work of Jesus Christ,
Reveal to you a life to enjoy...

To all the men and women that day who so bravely risked their lives, to uphold another who was in greater need. The Lord bless you and keep you in love, joy and peace forever. ^_^

"I think a man only needs one thing in life. He just needs someone to love...
If you can't give him that, then give him something to hope for...
And if you can't give him that, just give him something to do..."
- James Liddle - Flight of the Phoenix


This entire month has been one rollercoaster ride after another. When you realise that u've got only a month to live, your whole perspective of life changes. Every thing that you've once taken for granted comes back to you in a whole different light.

Fresh air... I used to work way after closing hours, tidying the shelves, arranging everything to point in the same direction... But now I find myself getting out at 5.30pm sharp, dropping everything I have just to bask in the glow of the sunset and to suck in the wonderful Australian air. And just for that couple of minutes, u forget about the hundreds of flies stuck to the back of your shirt (let's not spoil the moment here shall we ^_^)

Fishing... Where do I start? ^_^ Used to think it was a waste of time. Old geezers with too much time on their hands trying to catch fish stupid enough to bite on some lifeless bait... Well, lets just say that I am one of those geezers now eh *grin* I never knew that my Father could use fishing to teach me an important principle of life... Its not about patience, its not about skill and its certainly not about the equipment. Its about trusting Him once you cast your line into the water. I'm not talking about sport fishing where u know where fish are and how they would react when someone tries to rip their jaw out with a hook. Its the plain old school style where u only have your rod, line, bait and iPod.

Its these times where u can only throw the bait into the water and wait... Wait for my Father to deliver... Or for one real stupid fish to swim around. Its these times when u really feel vulnerable and stupid (guys... talking to the fish won't make them bite k... trust me, i tried that). But its also these times when u realise that we're not really in control. Our Father in heaven is. When we try to control our lives, our future, we unknowingly slap the hand of our Father away, refusing His help and wisdom. If only we could learn to cast the line into the vast ocean and let the Lord do the rest... Or u could pray for real stupid fish ^_^

Friends... Friends who once were, now is, and yet to come...
What do I do without them? Oh right, there's still Video Ezy ^_^ Friends are not just people you know... They are people that are willing to go one step further, one cent dearer, one hour longer for you. They are people who don't expect anything in return, except for the annual invite to the front row seats of Australia Day fireworks on my balcony and the occasional jar of salt. So to all my friends out there; who was, who is, and who is yet to come, I thank you all...

Forgiveness... Ah tough one this is...
It is an inevitable fact of life that some point in your life, there will be someone u'll come across that will tick your tocks the wrong way. To some, that person may be a customer who loves to place her wet umbrella on top of my freshly arranged "DRY" stock on my counter top (i forgave her already) or the tailgater who loves to drive his car inches from my bumper... so close that he can use my rearview mirror to arrange his hair (a quick flick on the brake pedal did the trick), but what if that person is your friend? Your loved one? Your family member? Can we actually forgive and forget? First of all we must find out why we forgive in the first place... It's because our Father did it to us. He didn't have to forgive us of all our sins, but He did. He didn't have to love us troublemakers, murmurers and liars, but He did. He didn't have to give His Son to die for us gossipers, hypocrites and fools, but He did. If our Father can overlook the wrong that we did and love us for who we really are, then maybe we should start trying to do the same. Lets have the heart of our Father, full of grace and love overflowing...

I forgive you... For what you did. I do not know why you had to do it that way, but you have your reasons. I leave you to the Lord, for Him to guide you and teach you all things, that you may not make the same mistake again.

The past is the past, its all but a memory to me.
History has become His story to tell, His will I let it be...
For me all I can do is forgive you and move on.
But my respect and trust for you is all but gone...

Forget...
There is a misconception that when we forgive, we also have to forget. There is no verse in the bible that tells us that... Not even close. The Lord only tells us to forgive. Then where did the "forget" part come from? Honestly I have no idea and I think that is what's hampering the forgiving process... I tried to forget and the more I did, the harder it came back. It is only when I told myself to forgive and let the Lord do the rest, the memories did not hurt as much as it did. So now, even though I remember the things that were done to me, I overlook them and accept them as my past. And now come to think about it, it ain't a big deal anymore.. Hey, who doesn't make mistakes eh? ^_^

Oh just in case u thought I was gona *dong dong chang*, oh no no no... I'm still gona be here for a long long time by the grace of God ^_^ Was referring to whether I'll still remain living in Australia. Haven't been back to Singapore for close to 3 years now, so the idea of returning back home is quite erm... Humid. (hey i'm sorry if that's the first thing i can think of k ^_^)

To all of you out there who have helped me get through this ordeal, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The Lord bless you & keep you in Love, Joy & Peace always.

I've been living without the internet for the past 2 weeks... Even resorted to humming the dial-up signal into the phone just to see if I could somehow get a connection... But to no avail... *sob sob*

I finally managed to fit everything into my room. Its quite a sight really... With boxes stacked up to the ceiling like towering skyscrapers, clothes heaped up like soaring mountains, and walking space the size of a minuscule shoe box... ^_^

Will be going down to Albany with my God-family next week *YaY!!!* Thank God for them ^_^
It just happened that I wanted to take a drive down by myself to some place I can't pronounce. Been in Perth for a couple of years straight now and it seems like the daily working + studying, 8 to 6 routine is getting to me. So I was quite surprised when my God-mum Julie (yes... Hi mum! ^_^) invited me on a road trip. Your Father hears all your prayers ^_^

Hey Jess... I hope you're enjoying yourself in Costa Rica ^_^ met any cute guys yet? In case you don't know, yes yours truly is your God-brother now. This means that I can officially make you eat your vegetables. *muahahaha*

Hey Qiong Hui! Oops! I mean Rae... Oops! I mean the girl from RJC-whom-I've-known-for-so-many-years-now-who-doesn't-want-to-be-named... I've got your CHRISTMAS CARD!!! So sweet of you... Thank you heaps!

To all the wonderful nurses and staff at Fertility North Clinic... It has been such a wonderful year working with all you amazing ladies. You all have such passion and love for what you do. I feel so fortunate to be part of this wonderful gender-biased family... (yes, I am the only guy there... Why do I always find myself in this situation? ^_^)

To my dear family back home in Singapore... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
I could write more here about you... But I think that 4 hour conversation we had over the phone kind of summed up what I have to say... But this I can't say enough... I LOVE YOU ALL!!! *muak muak muak* ^_^

To the Lord, my dear Father...
At the lowest point of my life, I asked You for a family... You've blessed me with 3... One in Singapore who loves me like no other, one at work where all the nurses treat me like their son, and just recently my God-family who have graciously accepted me into their lives...

When my finances were low... You solved my problem in a matter of weeks, where it would have taken months...
You've opened up doors for me, and by Your undeserved favor blessed me to be where I am today.
I thank You for making my life story a testimony to Your glory and love... It has been an amazing journey my Friend...
And it will always be...

I can't wait for tomorrow,
For today has been great...
Yesterday was not just a memory,
But an experience that You've made...

You carry me through my troubles,
You hold me through my fears...
You lift me through my worries,
Letting me down only to wipe my tears...

Sometimes I lose sight of You,
But You never leave my side...
Sometimes I don't know who to turn to,
Only to find Your arms open wide...

My Friend, my Father,
My Lord, my God...
Thank You for loving me,
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow... And Forever! Errm... *nod!* ^_^

~ A home that once was... ~

The place where I felt safe in,
months spent keeping it clean...
A home that once was is no more.

Building up the place bit by bit,
till we couldn't find a place to sit...
A home that once was is no more.

Finding my way around in the dark was a piece of cake,
especially when it's 3am and I'm half awake...
A home that once was is no more.

4 people used to live here,
then 3, 2 ,1 and now finally none...
A home that once was is no more.

A house of memories I leave behind,
some of which I really do not mind...
A home that once was is no more.

I sit now in the middle of an empty space,
which used to be my warm and cosy place...
A home that once was is no more.

Echoes ring in my ear as I wish it goodbye;
Closing the door behind me, I let out a big sigh...
A home that once was is no more.

After 2 years, 2 months and 11 days,
we finally decided to go our separate ways...
A home that once was is no more.

I walk next door into a whole new place;
an unfamiliar sight greets my face...
A home that once was, is now gone.

A place that once was,
is my home from now on...

To fill a hole in my heart...

Loneliness creeps in after a while.
Time slows down but I still try to smile.
Being hurt by someone close is bad enough,
Living alone in this cold room is going to be tough...

The warmth in my life was taken away.
Even though the love was gone a long time ago...
At least I had a reason to convince myself,
That my life had a beautiful glow...

Now my heart lies naked on the cold hard floor.
I wish someone could save me from this misery and more...
By faith I know my heart will heal.
In God, my heart will find the strength to feel...

Though my heart feels lonely and abandoned,
Its full of joy and contentment...
My love shall now pour to the rest of world,
Who I know appreciates me more...


Thank You Lord for all You've done...

Can we hear God speaking to us?

As still as we are,
Every wanting to hear His voice,
We find silence all around us...

We keep talking to Him,
Sharing our thoughts,
But nothing seems to come back...

Our friends and family surround us,
Words of wisdom they share,
Yet nothing from above...

Under the covers we close our eyes,
We appear to be all alone in this world.
How I wish You could hold me till the sun rises...

Take the hurt away from me,
Let me not see it again,
For it is too much for me to bear...

Comfort me with Your grace and love,
Assure me with Your smile,
And relieve me of this pain I'm suffering...

Shower me with the joys of life,
The blessings of peace,
Make my life whole again...

Please...

A Poem to God

I see the light of this world,
I see it shining...
I see everyone trying to do their best,
To keep it from dying...

Must we be tested time and time again,
Must we endure such horrible pain,
Must we go through hurt and suffering,
In order to see our true aim...

Are we here to speak Your name?
Change our lives and others,
So that they'll never be the same...
The light of the world we are, cause You came...

Show us how to live our lives.
Show us our purpose of this world.
Show us how to glorify Your Name.
In this place where darkness fills, its cold...

By our actions, let us be the light.
In people's lives, may we shine so bright...
Helping people in their way,
To seek you oh Lord, every single day...

Amen...

An ode to my loved one

Love is such a wonderful thing...
But fragile it is; like a piece of string.
Cherish it forever all u guys...
The last thing u want is the sound of goodbyes.

Love is like chocolate cake...
U wish u could eat it forever - till u get a tummy ache.
How nice it would be to set aside our differences,
Live life and forget the consequences...

Love ain't an easy thing.
You never know what it may bring...
But no matter what happens, please smile.
Make everything we had, worthwhile...

The time we had was short - but sweet.
But u did so much; u got me off the ground, on my two feet.
Even though the times we spent were rare,
You always seem to be constantly there...

We're both captains of our own ship now.
Our paths have diverged somehow...
The circumstances which made it so are hard to explain,
But I guess it means nothing to u - now that I've thrown our relationship down the drain.

I'm sorry it had to be this way.
There's really nothing else for me to say.
I hope u'll see the path that God has laid for you...
For there's a reason for everything we go through.

I know it is hard for u to forgive...
I won't ask for anything else other than for u to live...
Live your life to the fullest my friend,
For this is what I would do; if I was still with u in the end.

Take care & God bless...